Something new
by lexi121
Summary: Baby Noah Benson is in the hospital. Olivia isn't answering her phone. The hospital calls the next person on Noah's emergency list.
1. Chapter 1

I know I still have still haven't updated on my last story but I have major writers block. I just want to see by writing another story will help.

Noah is 4 months old in this story. Olivia is 30 years old and Rafael is 32 years old in the story. Yes I know Liv shouldn't have Noah yet but this is Fanfiction. So in this story Liv was quickly granted guardianship of Noah.

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Rafael Barba sat in his office looking over his latest cases, sighing looking over at his watch seeing it was 4:30 in the afternoon. 'Ay Dios mio. The day is not even over yet.' He says to himself while running a hand down the side of his face.

Knocking on his door brings him out of his short daze. Looking up seeing his assistant Lisa walk in.

"You have a call from Mercy hospital on line one."

Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion for why the hospital would be calling him.

"Did they say for who was in the hospital?" He replied.

Lisa replied with a small nod. "All they said that Olivia Benson's son is in the hospital and they cannot get ahold of her, and that you were next on the emergency contact list."

Barba in even more confusion, for him being on Noah's emergency contact list, nodded. "Uhh okay Thank you Lisa." He gave her a tight smile while she walked out of his office shutting the door. Picking up his office phone.

"ADA Rafael Barba." He spoke with authority.

"Hi this is Jessica the nurse for Noah Benson at Mercy hospital we need you to come down here as soon as possible." She replied urgently.

"Uhh wha..what's wrong with him? Why is he in the hospital?" He replied nervously while twirling a pen between his fingers.

"Well little Noah suffered a massive asthma attack and we need someone to be here for him and the doctor needs to communicate with a guardian if something were to change in Noah's condition." The nurse replied.

"Dios mio Noah. Okay I'm on my way." With that he hung up gathering only his phone, wallet, keys and coat before rushing out of the office to his SUV.

While on his drive to the hospital he tried calling Olivia on her cell phone but her phone was off. On his last attempt he left a message. "Olivia I got a phone call from Mercy that Noah is in the hospital, call me as soon as you get this." Locking his phone and setting it down in the cup holder.

As he looks forward while driving he talks quietly to himself. "Why am I on his list? I haven't even held a baby in years." Finally pulling in Mercy quickly finding a parking spot; and making his way into the hospital walking right up to the nurse's desk.

"Excuse me I am looking for Noah Benson's room." He replied anxiously looking at the red head sitting down.

The red head looking at up to see Barba she kindly smiled before talking. "let me see where he is at." She clicked a few buttons before looking back up to Barba. "He is in room 204 level 2."

Barba nodded quickly before making his way to the elevators. Stepping in with a few nurses and other people here to see their ill family or friends. The ding of the elevator brought him back from his thoughts as he walked out and towards the room reading the door signs 201..202..203..204 he stopped in front of Noah's door for a few moments before opening the door and walking in and closing the door softly.

Finally looking over to see Noah in a clear box, walking over to get a better view of Noah, Barba gasped seeing how much tubes were connected to Noah and so many things attached to him. Rafael lifting his hand to moving it through the openings of 'the box' and softly rubbed his finger along Noah's tiny arm.

"Hey little guy, remember me? I'm your mommy's friend." He softly spoke to him while continuing to rub his finger along Noah's arm.

Hear the door open to the room he turned around to see what a woman in blue scrubs holding a clip board walk in. "Hi I'm Doctor Clark I'm here to check his vitals and see how he is doing." She smiled holding out her hand.

Barba removing his hand from 'the box' the shake the doctor's hand. "Hi, Rafael Barba family friend of Noah. Is he going to be okay? What happened to him?" He asked quickly.

"He suffered a massive asthma attack because of a cold he already had and with it being winter now, it didn't help him. His daycare called 911 and was brought in immediately but his temperature is very low and we have him in the incubator to heat him up but it doesn't seem to be working." She speaks while checking Noah's vitals and the machines around him.

Looking at Doctor Clark sternly. "Well what's going to happen if his temperature doesn't go up?"

"Well we can turn up the heat but we can only go so much before we can't and would have to hope and see if can go up on it's own. But if not we do recommend skin to skin contact." She replied.

"Oh okay."Barba replied sadly looking at Noah.

"We are giving him breathing treatments for his asthma and antibiotics for his small cold. Right now it is just a waiting game. I'll be back to check on him in a few hours."

"Okay thank you Doctor Clark." He nodded turning to pull the sofa chair up next to Noah and continued to rub his fingers along Noah's arm. With his free hand he grabbed his phone to see if Liv had called or texted him. Nothing, sighing he rested his head back against the chair and closed his eyes soon sleep took over.

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Okay I am not doctor but i'll and get better on the medical stuff.

Everything belongs to Dick wolf except the story line and characters you don't recognize.

please review good or bad. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all for the reviews I appreciate them. Also I understand that a lot of the medical stuff is not realistic and I know that but for how I have this story line going I need it to be like that. I also know you don't need skin to skin contact but this story Noah is going to need skin to skin contact. Also for their ages I just want to be younger because of what might happen down the road in this story. Again thank you all for your reviews keep them coming and enjoy the story.

Everything belongs to Dick Wolf except the story line and characters you do not recognize.

Sorry guys I deleted this chapter for a moment I forgot to add something. Again enjoy!

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A cry of a baby pierced the room awaking Rafael. Waking up slowly stretching out, looking down at his watch to check the time seeing it read 8:45. "Wow I was asleep that long."

Looking at Noah sadly before speaking softly to him. "What's wrong amigo? Why are you crying little bud?" Removing his coat and suit jacket and tossing them on another chair and tugging at his slick purple tie.

In return was the cries of Noah moving his arms and legs around, his tiny face turning red as he continued to cried. "Shhh it's okay little guy." Grabbing Noah's tiny hand trying to sooth him; running his thumb on the back of Noah's hand softly.

There was a quick knock on the door before it opened and walked in the nurse. Ignoring that Rafael was in the room for a moment. "Oh my goodness little guy what's all the fuss about little one?" The nurse spoke while taking Noah out of the incubator slowly to make sure not to pull on the Noah's wires that are attached to him. Walking over to a small changing table in the corner of the room setting him down slowly.

Rafael looking at what the nurse is doing finally decided to make his presence known. "Ahem excuse me but what are you doing with him?" Stepping towards the pair.

"Oh I'm sorry sir, I am just going to change his diaper and take off some of these tubes attached to him." She talked as she was changing Noah's diaper and disposing of it. Removing most of his wires and tubes from him; Noah still letting out a cry from time to time. "Okay little guy you should feel better now that you aren't having so many things attached to you."

"Uh is that a good sign that he doesn't need all of those things on him?" Asked Barba, as he gave a small step to the side with his hands in his pockets.

"Oh yes it is a very good sign for little Noah, that means his lungs are doing well to the breathing treatments. He also is very hungry that's for most of his crying, here take ahold of your son." She said as she picked up Noah softly walking over to Barba.

Rafael going wide eyed to her last comment stuttered. "He uh.. he isn't my son. I uh..i'm a family friend."

"I'm sorry sir. It just that he does have a resemblance to you, but you can still feed him and; hold him for the time being." As she tried to hand him Noah to hold Barba took a step back from her. The nurse looked at him funny, before trying to take another step towards Barba. Again he took a step back from her.

She laughs "Is there a problem sir?"

"Uh no…well yes I haven't held a baby in years." He looked at her plainly.

"He's not going to break if you hold him okay? Sit in the chair and I'll hand him to you and show you how to hold him securely." She said as he moved to sit down back in the chair. Leaning back looking at the nurse grab a blanket and wrap Noah securely in it and walk towards Barba, who keeps moving around trying to find the best position to hold Noah.

"Okay you are going to support his head with your crook of your arm and have your other free support his lower half. Once you get comfortable you don't have to use both hands." She talked as she slowly placed Noah in his arms and helping him move his arms in the right position.

Rafael still feeling uneasy did not want to move a muscle. "What if he slips through my arms or something? I don't want his mom to kill me for dropping him." He said while looking down at Noah who was still crying softly.

"Haha sir you will not drop him. But if you still think so I'll put a pillow under your arm for more support." Turning to grab a pillow that was in a closet in the far right of the room, walking back folding it and placing the pillow under his arm. "There that should help and let me go get his bottle and I will be right back." Walking out leaving the boys alone for the moment, looking down seeing Noah with his tear stained face.

"Aww pobre bebe, esta bien mi amigo, tu Tio Raf esta aqui." He whispered to him in Spanish. _(Aww poor baby, it's okay my buddy, your Uncle Raf is here.)_

"Okay here is his 4oz. bottle of Similac this should be enough for him to eat. If not push the nurses button to get some more." The nurse talked as she handed him the bottle.

Careful as he removed his hand from under Noah making sure he didn't fall and grabbed the bottle and placed the nipple of the bottle to Noah's lips. Which Noah took hungrily making a content sound to his feeding. "Eh uhh how would I know if he wants more or if he is full?" He asked as he looked in awe to him eating.

"He should either cry for more or keep sucking on the nipple even it is empty. But before you decide to give him another make sure to burp him because he may just need to be burped; I have more bottles right on the table if you need more. Just shake it well then give it to him. Do not give him the bottle every time he cries got it?"

"I guess but if I need help I call. Thanks." He gave her a tight smile before looking back down to Noah seeing he is already half way finished with the bottle. The nurse walking out once again to leave the boys alone at last.

"Okay bud, I am not good at this so don't take me to court for this got it?" He smiled. Proud of himself that he has done well so far; for now.

Staring at Noah eat for a while before hearing his phone off making him jump a little, scaring Noah in the process. "Sorry little amigo." Stretching out his leg and reaching into his pocket and taking out his phone. Looking at who was calling was no other then Olivia Benson on his screen of his phone.

"Hey Olivia." He started.

"Is he okay?! What ha-." A sob broke through her as she talked to her best friend.

"Hey hey Liv breathe he's fine, it's okay." His heart breaking, hearing her sob through the phone.

"No Raf he is not! My baby is in the hospital and I'm not there for him." She sobbed once again while she drove quickly to Mercy hospital.

"No Liv this is not your fault okay? You didn't put him in the hospital his asthma did. You couldn't prevent that from happening. Just breathe and come when you can." He told her trying to calm her down as best as he could over the phone.

Sniffing "Okay I'm pulling up right now, what room are you guys in? She asked as she pulled into a parking spot and shifting into park, jumping out with her purse and keys in one hand; with cell phone in the other still talking to Barba.

"We are in room 204 level 2." He replied.

"Okay I'm on my way up." Hanging up walking very quickly to the room.

Sighing before removing the empty bottle from Noah's mouth, and setting it on the table next to him. "Okay bud mommy is here and is on her way up but first let's get you burped." Slowly moving Noah to his shoulder and having his hand securely around him. Before starting to burp him. A few moments later a small burp left the lips of the baby. "Yeah there we go amigo." He laughed softly before moving Noah back to his arms waiting for Olivia to come in.

Not a moment later Olivia came rushing in and dropping her things to the side and going over to the boys. "Hey my little guy, give him to Raf please." She pleaded to him.

"You don't need to ask me Liv he is your son." He said as he handed over Noah to his mother.

Once she had him in her arms she whispered sweet nothings to him. "I'm so sorry Noah momma is never doing that again. I promise to be here faster baby I love you." Holding him very close to her as she whispered in his ear, kissing him softly on his head.

Barba admiring Liv how much she loved Noah so much and how much guilt she was holding, when she shouldn't. As they stood there for about 20 minutes she finally set him down onto the crib they had for him. Staring at Noah sleep peacefully, she turned to Rafael looking at him before pulling him into a tight hug wrapping her arms around his neck.

Rafael being taken off guard into the embrace took a moment before responding to the hug. Wrapping his arm around her waist hearing her cry against him.

"Hey shhh it's okay Liv." He said while he rubbed her back soothingly.

"How? He was on his own in a hospital I should have been there for him." She said as she cried in his shoulder.

"Liv this is not your fault. Like I said from the beginning you are a fantastic mom. You are there for him; you are here for him now. Which what matters now, what matters now that his mom is here." He moved to look at her in the eyes. "He is lucky to have you as his mother."

She smiled looking up at him. "Thank you Raf thank you for coming here when you didn't have to."

"You don't have to thank you me sweet heart, I also know I didn't have to but I wanted to." He said as he kissed her forehead.

"You should go home and rest Raf." She told him.

"No I'll stay here with you both. I don't want to leave you guys alone." Finally releasing from their hug.

"Are you sure?" she looked at him.

Giving her his famous smirk. "Yes Liv I am sure."

"Okay." Yawning she wiped her eyes from tears that had run down her face.

"Come on sleepy time for you young lady." He turned her around to the sofa chair letting her sit and pulling the lever that reclines the sofa chair. Moving to sit in the other chair that is not as comfortable.

"What are you doing?" Asked Liv, Seeing Rafael trying to get comfortable in the chair, stopping his movements looking at her.

"Uhh trying to get comfortable." He said as he kicked off his expensive dress shoes and taking off his tie.

"Come sleep here next to me Raf that is not comfortable at all and plus there's enough room for the both of us." She said as she moved over for him.

Becoming nervous getting wide eyed. "No No I'm okay here."

"Rafael come on stop being stubborn." She gave him a stare.

"Uh okay." The tough ADA nervous as he moved right next his best friend getting comfortable.

Laying as still as possible his heart was pounding so hard at the moment he feels like she could hear it. 'keep cool Rafael you are the big ADA...ugh who am I kidding! I'm laying right next to the person I have feelings for!'

"Good night Raf thank you." She yawned exhaustion taking over; falling asleep fairly quickly. Cuddling into him as she slept.

Looking over at her taking in her facial features seeing the scares from her past, seeing her laugh lines smiling 'She is still beautiful.' Giving her another kiss to her forehead.

"G'night Liv." Wrapping an arm around her as he let sleep take over once again.

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Review!

Can I get at least 5 reviews from you guys? thanks :)


	3. Chapter 3

I like to thank you guys for the reviews. I would also like to thank MrsChilton for your review suggesting I get a beta reader. Well the last time I worked with a beta reader this person took my story and posted it on another website. Not saying no one else does it, just by that person I lost my trust to beta readers haha.

Disclaimer: Only own the story line and characters you don't recognize. Everything else is owned by Dick Wolf.

Enjoy! leave a review!

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'Why do I feel like I am being squished?' Liv said as she began to wake up and blinking away the tiredness taking her sroundings. 'Hospital?' She moved her head up a little as she could because of what was her down wasn't letting her much movement.

"Mmm comfy pillow." Said Barba talking in his sleep, hugging her even tighter to him with a smile on his face.

Olivia putting a hand over her mouth to keep herself from laughing out loud. 'I am so never letting that go away.' Slowly maneuvering her way out his grip and standing up giving herself a good stretch, raising her hands over her head while yawning in the processes. Looking at Barba once more seeing him now curled up on the recliner she smiled.

Chuckling she turned around to the crib that held her baby boy, seeing his beautiful hazel eyes. "Hey my sweet boy. How was your sleep?" she talked as Liv picked him up gently and slightly bounced walking around the room. "I am sorry again baby. I love you." Leaning down to give him a soft kiss on his forehead.

Walking around the room, a smell began to rise in tHe room. Liv getting a whiff of the stench she scrunched her nose and lips together in disgust. "Man Noah did you do that?" she looked down at him and what she got was a small smile in return.

"You my sweet boy is not so sweet right now, lets get you in a fresh diaper." Moving to the changing table and placing him on there and grabbing the wipes and diaper. cleaning and changing him and once again picking him up and moving to sit in a dark stained rocker. She sat there holding Noah who was content to be in his mothers arms.

An hour later the Rafael began to move around waking up. "Uugh my back." Rubbing his eyes with the balls of his hands finally looking to his side not seeing Liv, he looked around until his eyes landed on who he was looking for; smiling see her holding Noah. "Morning Liv."

Tearing her eyes away from Noah. Their eyes connecting smiling. "Morning lazy."

Barba pretending to be heartbroken laying a hand over his chest with his mouth hanging open. "Pssh that hurts Liv, my feelings are hurt." He smiled.

Rolling her eyes. "Oh hush you have no feelings."

"I have feelings for people I care about." He replied in a more serious tone.

The room becoming quite for a moment. She replied. "I know Raf." Looking up at him.

"Is he hungry? Are you hungry?" He asked moving away from the last conversation.

"Yeah his feeding time is coming up. Can you grab the bottle for me?"

"Yup let me stretch my back first haha." Standing up slowly and moving around to pop his back. After feeling better about his back he moved over to the table were the bottles. Grabbing one and shaking it. Just like the nurse from last night showed him, walking over to her and handing the bottle to her.

"Thanks."

"Welcome." He smiled.

SVU~SVU~SVU~SVU~SVU~SVU~SVU~SVU~SVU~SVU~SVU~SVU~

I am so sorry that it is so short but I am leaving to New York tonight and I did not want to you guys hanging. Please review and tell me maybe what you guys might want to see in the story. :) Thank you guys.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys! So I had an awesome time in New York. Especially because I got to meet the one and only **Mariska Hargitay**! She is so funny and sweet. Ahhh I'm still excited about it! Haha

Okay enough about me enjoy! And Review!

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A few days later

"Thank you Lucy for coming even though I said i would give you the weekend off. I promise next time it won't happen again." Liv said apologizing to the young girl. When Olivia had said starting from now on she would give her the weekends off.

Smiling sweetly as she stepped into the apartment and placing her bag on the counter. "No don't worry about it Olivia I didn't have much planned this weekend anyway." She said.

"Still I'm sorry but we have a problem at work and I didn't want to take him, especially because he just came home from the hospital."

"It's okay don't worry about. Go, we will be fine here." Lucy smiled.

Olivia giving her a small smile. "Okay thank you again. I will try and not take long." She said as she started to grab her badge and gun, and hooking them on her jeans.

"Take your time." Lucy replied.

"Okay, well bye my baby boy." Walking over to Noah who was in his baby swing. Liv leaning down to kiss him a on his forehead. "Mommy loves you." Standing back and grabbing her coat and walking to the door; turning around. "Bye, if you need anything call me."

"I know Olivia don't worry go." She chuckled softly.

With that Olivia closed the door and walking down the hall.

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Where is your Sargent? Asked an annoyed James Anderson a Defense Attorney that was in the middle of the squad room with Barba, Rollins, Carisi, Fin and Armaro.

"She's comin alright. Relax it's only been 20 minutes. She has a child that just came home from the hospital." Retorted Amanda with annoyance in her voice also giving him an eye-roll.

Anderson in his dark blue tux and grey tie. Turning his head staring at her with his brown eyes. "Well that sucks, but I do not have time for this. I have a hot date in an hour." He replied.

"No one cares Anderson, if you didn't want to be here don't take another case like this again." Replied Babra.

Amanda scoffing and rolling her eyes pushing herself off the table that she was leaning on, walking away from the group to get a coffee.

Just then Olivia came rushing in the squad room. "Sorry sorry I had to wait for Lucy to come."

"Don't wor-" Before Rafael could finish his sentence Anderson decided to step in.

"Took you long enough. I have other things to do. I'm just here to get the plea deal and a few other things before I can get on my merry way." He growled out.

"Okay first of all. You will not get a plea deal anymore, that's off the table so do not think you will get that back. Second have a heart seriously but I don't think you have one to begin with since you defend rapists." Said Fin while crossing his arms giving him a dirty look.

"You are a detective not the ADA and I can say what I like." Said Anderson.

Barba having enough of this defense attorney opened his mouth to speak. But Olivia stepped in before he could start his rant.

"Okay enough! All of you. I'm here now so stop. Let's talk work now. So you want a plea for a guy who kidnaped 3 girls raped,tortured and killed two of them and the last one was able to escape and get help." She said in more of a statement then a question.

"He didn't do it." He said blankly.

Olivia gawking at him. "Are you serious? He didn't do it? That's all you got? He had his DNA in and on those little girls."

"The man is innocent and he is mentally ill he'll get off. So I'll take the plea deal of guilty to one count of rape and kidnapping, give him 6 years in prison and 4 years on parol and he said he will take being put on the registry." Anderson said nonchalantly to Barba and Olivia.

"No way. That's not going to happen." Replied Olivia shaking her head.

"You know just like the detective said the plea deal is off the table. We will see you in court." Said Barba pushing himself off the table he was leaning against and moving to stand next to Liv.

Anderson standing in shock looking at the two. "Are you serious? He'll get a good few years in prison."

Barba smirking while crossing his arms. "No we will see you in court."

The rude defense attorney grabbed his things before saying. "You guys are going to lose."

Olivia smirking. "Yeah that's a chance We are willing to take. But I doubt we will lose once the jury gets to hear what he did and the evidence plus the little girls testimony. He is going to be gone for life, with no chance of parol."

Anderson sighing walking away cursing under his breath, disappearing down the hall.

"What an ass right? Who is that guy?" Asked Rollins had came back from getting coffee while the situation was happening. Who Standing off to the side.

Rafael grabbing papers and placing in his suitcase and some to a pile on the table. "Well he's a a hot shot in California but moved here because he got a raise if he moved here."

Taking a sip of her coffee before sitting at her desk then turning to look at everyone else. "I just hope he doesn't take another case with us again or he's just going to be a pain."

"Nah I doubt it because the word around at my office is he's trying to find an easy precinct to work in so he can win more cases. And with us it won't happen anytime soon." He smiled amused.

"Okay guys let's just get the rest of the paper work completed for this case and for some others and if nothing new pops up go home. It's the weekend enjoy it." Said Olivia while moving to go to her office.

"Woah what happened to the Olivia Benson I knew?" Joked fin smirking.

Smiling turning back to Fin. "I became a mom. Now get to work so you can leave." Then walking into her office.

"I'm happy for her." Said Fin.

"I think everyone is." Said Barba. Walking into liv's office and closing the door.

Rafael sitting down in one of her chairs then hiking his feet up on her desk crossing his feet while taking out his phone, looking at it.

Olivia hearing the thump on her desk, looked up from her paper work;looking over her glasses she was wearing, seeing that Rafael getting comfortable.

Smiling at him, seeing he blue socks with pink poka-dots then looking back up at him. She started to chuckle, he had his tounge sticking out to the side and his eyebrows furrowed looking very concentrated on whatever his was doing on his phone.

"Comfy Barba? And what are you doing on your phone? Is it that new game you downloaded two weeks ago?" She asked.

Rafael looking up from his phone with his tounge still out to the side nodding in a child like manner to her.

Olivia laughed leaning back into her chair.

Rafael smiled and laughed with her, he loved when he got to make her laugh. It would brighten his day a lot more. "I am very much comfy Liv."

Still chuckling a little she replied. "Well I'm glad my office makes you comfortable."

He smiled putting his phone up. "Have you eaten dinner yet?"

Sighing taking off her glasses. "No I haven't I was getting ready to make dinner when I got the call from Amaro saying that Anderson was demanding for me."

"Well let's go get some dinner then I can drop you off at home. What do you say?" He smiled softly at her.

"I loved to but I want to go home to Noah and relieve Lucy."

"Oh okay..well umm next time I guess." Barba sounding and looking disappointed.

Olivia seeing his shoulders slump down she decided on a better solution. "Maybe if you want you can come over and hang out with Noah and I. And we can have dinner at my place." She smiled at him while taking off her glasses.

Trying not to show his excitement he nodded his head in agreement. "Okay great do you want to head out now? Or do you still have paperwork to do?"

"Hmm well I have this small stake here that I was going to try and finish but now that you are buying dinner it can wait till Monday." She smirked at him standing up gathering her things.

Rafael following her lead and standing up as well. "Haha well okay then, how does pizza sound?" He asked as they walked out her office and saying bye to the guys.

Nodding her head softly. "I could go for a pizza."

"Okay, do you need a lift?"

"Nah I'm good I brought my car, plus it will give me enough time to clean my house a little and change into more comfortable clothing." She replied.

"Okay see you in a hour."

"Bye Raf." She smiled to him, as they walked down to their own cars.

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Olivia arriving home 20 minutes later opens her door to hear a crying Noah being held by Lucy as she rocked him gently trying to sooth him.

"Hey Lucy I'm back, and hey my little prince aww why all the crying huh?" She talked as she took him from Lucy arms, instantly Noah began to calm down in his mothers arms.

She smiled wide at Noah.

"I guess he just wanted his mommy." Said Lucy who had already grabbed her things and that was standing by the door.

"Yeah I guess he did." She gave a half smile. "Thank you Lucy for coming again. This is the last time I'll bother you on the weekends."

Lucy opening the door. "Don't worry about it Olivia, have a good night." With that she closed the door behind her. Olivia locking the door with one hand while holding Noah in the other.

She walked to her bedroom to put her gun and badge away coming back out, walking over to Noah's swing was she placed him in there. She cleaned the apartment to have it looked decent enough.

"Okay I have the living room looking better now I just need to change and I'll be good to go." She walked to her bedroom to change into black yoga pants, taking off her bra and putting on a blue nike sports bra, with a grey Blue NYPD sweatshirt on. And decided to go barefoot seeing that her toes still looked nice with the red nail polish.

As she walked out her room, the doorbell rang walking over to the door she opened it and saw Rafael wearing worn out blue jeans, wearing a black regular T-shirt and Nike shoes. Smiling brightly at Liv. "Hey Liv I got the pizza and I also bought red wine and Scotch for us Just in case you wanted something over than soda."

"No that's good,come in and make yourself comfortable. Here let me take the pizza to the kitchen and I'll bring us back some slices and cups." Closing the door after Rafael stepped in and locking it, taking the pizza box from him and walking into the kitchen.

Rafael taking this time to set down the bottles on the coffee table and take off his shoes and set them behind the couch and taking a seat.

"Rafael can you pick a movie for us to watch please." Liv called from the kitchen.

" Yeah sure Liv." Getting up moving to the shelf that held the movies. Browsing through them he talked to himself. "No we've seen this already..and this one ..and this one... Ay Dios mío we watch a lot of movies together." Finally he picked out a movie just as Liv walked with two plates with pizza on them and two empty cups.

"Hey got a movie yet?" She asked as she placed the contents on the coffee table.

Looking at her while placing the disc in the blu-Ray . "Yup I picked out the Avengers movie for us because we have seen almost everything in here."

Walking back over to her and reaching for cups and pouring Liv her wine and himself his Cuban scotch. Liv sitting right next to him taking her cup from him.

"Thank you and haha yes we have seen almost all of the movies but they are good movies that we can watch again." She pushed him softly while she took a sip of her wine.

Smiling at her 'Dios she's beautiful.' Turning back to the movie which began while eating his pizza.

As the movie went on the pizza was finished and they comminuted to drink their wine and scotch. The pair who had space between them in the beginning were now snuggled up. Liv had her head on his shoulder with her right hand on his stomach.

Rafael had his right arm warped around her letting his hand rest on her hip. Liv's shirt had raised up when she moved into her current position and he took his chance to place his hand there on her hip.

Rafael looking down at her, he gave a soft smile 'I should ask her on a date already." he smiled thinking of the possibility of a date. 'What if she said no. I would look like an idiot' he smile fading quickly.

"Hey you okay?" Asked Liv when he felt her tighten his grip on her hip.

Coming out of his thoughts he looked down at her. "Eh uh yeah yeah I'm fine sorry."

"You sure?"

"Yeah well no." He paused.

'Just do it Rafael. Ask her.'

"Well Liv I.." Coughing to clear his now dry throat. "What if..well what do you think if no umm would like to uhh.. Woah this is harder then I thought it would be." He laughed nervously running his free hand down the side of his face.

Olivia looking at his nervousness the tough ADA straight headed, can't produce a sentence.

'He's asking me out. Ask so I can give you an answer.' She thought.

"Okay let me start this again Liv would like to go on a date with me next weekend?" He held his breath trying to read his best friends face but he couldn't. She looked like she was having a hard time deciding.

"Liv?"

Snapping her head to look at him just as she was about to give him an answer Noah decided to make his presence known.

"Umm hold that thought okay? Let me grab him and feed him." Getting up quickly and moving to grab her son.

Rafael sighing and closes his eyes and resting his head on the back of the sofa. 'Come on amigo couldn't you just have waited another minute. She's going to tell me no anyways. Fuck.'

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okay guys don't kill me please I wanted to stop it here and save it before it got longer.

Please leave a review and tell me what you think!

Thanks :)

Everything belongs to Dick wolf except the story line and characters you don't recognize


	5. Chapter 5

Sooo sorry I haven't updated in so long! I am back and ready to go.

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"Hey there little one. Momma got you, are you hungry?" Olivia cooed to her baby boy as she picks him, rocked him out into the living room.

Grabbing the baby formula from the table to bring onto the counter struggling a bit to open it while holding Noah in one arm. Noah letting out another cry. "I know Noah, your hungry baby give me a second babe." Moving to grab the water and bottle turning liv knocks over the baby formula with her elbow.

"Fuck." She says as the powder settles down after its fall to the floor.

Barba watched her move around her kitchen trying to make her son a bottle. 'I should help..no she wont let me plus i know she wants to learn on the way' He stayed on his position on the couch,until he seen her knock over the formula. He stood up quickly moving to the kitchen.

"Hey you okay? Need some help?" Rafael says as he picks up the container of baby formula that has little powder left in the container.

"No you don't have to Raf I got it." Liv replies as she bounces up and down with Noah still crying in her arms.

"Liv, its okay I want to help okay?" He smiled at her as he grabbed the small scoop, holding it up in front of his face. "Now I know there isn't much left in here but I think we can manage to make one bottle."

"Okay, a scoop and a half but put the water first." She says as she walks around the mess on the floor walking to her hallway closet, grabbing the broom and walking back.

A sharp cry came again from Noah. "Oh Noah hold on Raf is making your bottle baby." She walked back into the kitchen placing the broom leaning against the fridge.

Rafael scooped the right amount carefully and putting the powder into the bottle watching it mix with the water, making a face in disgust as it mixed slowly.

"How the heck is this tasteful for babies?" He gabbed the nipple and bottle closing it tightly turning to Liv.

"Okay soo you give to him just like this?" Handing over the bottle to her free hand.

"Haha no, after you put the powder you stir the bottle slowly so it can mix but also have to make sure not to create bubbles." She says as she rotates the bottle. Looking at it to make sure its mixed completely before turning to feed Noah. He accepts it quickly hushing as he suckles on his bottle.

"Ohhhh that makes sense." He chuckles. "Hey you go sit down with Noah and I can clean up the powder." He went to grab the broom from it was placed last by the fridge.

"No Rafael I got it, don't worry about it." She move towards him.

"No go and sit down and watch the movie. I got this; spend some time with him." He put a hand behind her back and slowly guided her to the living room.

Olivia sat down looking down at Noah, Noah looking back at her as he slowed down on his drinking his bottle. "I love you Noah." Leaning down and placing a small kiss on his forehead.

After a few minutes of cleaning the formula up and throwing it away, placing the the broom back in the closet. Rafael began to make his way to the living room sitting right next to Olivia.

"Hey, I finished cleaning up also placed some dishes in the dishwasher so you don't have to worry about that," He says as he rubs Noah's head.

"You didn't have to Raf." She says as she watches his movements.

"Well I don't mind helping out, plus you deserve a break and bonding time with your son." He smiled at her.

She looked up giving him a smile back, before looking back down at Noah seeing that he has stopped drinking his bottle, slowly she removes the bottles from his lips and leans over placing the bottle on the coffee table.

As she was about to move Noah to her shoulder to burp him an idea popped into her head.

"Do you want to burp him?" She looked over at him.

Rafael's eye widen at her question before responding. "Yo-you don't mind me doing it?"

"Of course I don't mind. I trust you Rafael and it looks like you want to hold him." Giving him a soft smile.

He gives a small laugh. "Is it that obvious?"

Liv laughs. "Yeah it is, here take him and let me go get a cloth so you can put it on your shoulder just in case he spits up."

Liv carefully hands Noah over to Barbra who is shaking a little as he grabs Noah. "Every time I hold him i feel like I'm about to drop him or break him." He says as she walks over to a basket full of Noah's necessities. Returning as she replies.

"I felt the same way to when I began holding him but after awhile it goes away and you began to feel more confident. Don't worry Raf you are doing great." She places the cloth on his right shoulder.

Moving Noah to his shoulder he slowly began to pat his back. looking over at her. "Well I hope so because I want to be around here more often." He looks at her.

Her smiles widen at his statement. "Me too."

"Good." His smiles widens more as he looked down at Noah before placing a kiss on the top of his head.

Liv watching him interacting with her son, her heart swelling _'Oh my gosh he's so wonderful'_ She placed a hand on his arm that was holding Noah.

"I'm going to check if I have another container of formula if not I have to go to the store and buy one." Standing up and going over to look in the cabinet.

"I can go get it for you Liv." scooting up to the end of the couch with Noah securely in his arms as he continued to burp him.

"No no its okay you are holding him and he looks happy were he is."

"You sure?" looking at her a little worried.

"Yes." Closing the cabinet, walking over to table by her door picking up her purse. "Okay i'll be right back. If you need anything call me, if he starts to cry give him his pacifier. Do you know were its at? I can go get it." she talked quickly.

He laughs standing up carefully. "Liv you are going to be gone for maybe fifteen minutes tops you aren't leaving for fifteen hours. Go, us boys will be fine, I promise."

She chuckles. "Sorry, okay i'll be back." Walking towards him leaning up giving a kiss to Noah. "Alright i'll be back." Walking out closing the door behind her.

"Alright little man, you just burped I think. What should we do now? Should we watch a game instead of the movie? Hmm?" Sitting down, Shutting down the DVD player. Rafael turned to the sports channel settling on a baseball game.

Feeling Noah move around; looking at him. "Not comfy on my shoulder anymore?" moving him down to the middle of his chest, reaching out and grabbing the pacifier from the basket and poking the nipple of the pacifier to Noah's lips watching him get a hold of it and relax.

Yawing resting his large hand on Noah's back and continued to watch the game.

* * *

Olivia walking down to CVS, moving directly to the formula isle grabbing two of what she needed and grabbing a basket placing them inside and moving down to the diapers. _'Might as well grab some more these before I run out.'_ Getting two packets of diapers and a packet of wipes heading back to the front of the store moving to the self check out line. After paying for her things and bagging them up she headed back to the apartment.

Walking down the street looking at all the people walking briskly past her and another couple having a fight about who knows what. Smiling biting her lip, thinking of who is at her apartment right now.

"Excuse me Miss." Jumping out of her daydream. Turning to see who called for her attention seeing it was a man probably around 5'11, brown eyes and curly brown hair wearing blue jeans and a black jacket.

"Yes? Can I help you?" Feeling a little discomfort from him she moved into cop mode.

"Are you Olivia Benson?" He asked ruggedly.

"Yes, why do you need to know? Who are you?" She scrunched her nose to him.

"I-uh look I'm delivering a message that you need to be careful, if you want to date that lawyer boy."

"I am not dating anyone, also who told you to deliver this stupid message?" She stood taller.

"An old friend a Rafael's. Just be careful with him. He's no good." With that the strange man walked away quickly.

Olivia watched as he walked away, confused _'no good.. an old friend of Rafael's'_ she decided she could ask when she got back to her apartment.

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Opening the door looking up to see a beautiful site, Rafael asleep with Noah on his chest. She set down her bags and purse; locking the door, before grabbing her phone and snapping a photo of the two. Setting her phone down she walked up to two slowly reaching for the now sleeping Noah; as she reached for him Rafael gripped Noah more securely before opening his eyes seeing Olivia he relaxed.

"Hey." He spoke husky voice.

"Hey, sorry I saw you guys and I wanted to move him to his crib." slowly grabbing him and walking down the hall.

Rafael right behind her raising his hands above his head stretching. "No, its okay guess we both fell asleep. Did you get the formula?" Watching her change Noah's diaper before changing him into a more comfy sleeper before placing him in his crib. Bending down giving her son a good night kiss.

"Yes I did and a few other things I needed to get before I ran out." She moved out of his room with Rafael behind her closing the door leaving a crack open so they'll be able to him.

"Hey you okay?"

"Yeah.. actually no." She looked at him.

"Whats wrong?" He moved closer to her.

"This guy came up to me and told me that you were someone that I needed to watch out for and that an old friend of yous sends me that message." She looked at him searching his face for any answers.

"What did he look like?" Rafaels face becoming stern with concern.

"Does it matter?" She looked at him.

"Olivia what does he look like?" He replied with a little a more force.

"Brown curly hair, Dark brown eyes around 5'11."

"Okay well don't worry about that, okay?" He says as he looks around for something.

"How am I not supposed to worry Raf? This guy out of no where is telling me to not be around you because you are no good. How am I supposed to just let it go with no problem?" Crossing her arms watching him look around.

"Are you not going to tell me? If you need help Raf tell me I am a cop remember?" Stretching her arm out grabbing hold of his arm to stop his movements.

"Barba tell me whats going on. Please."

Sighing Rafael rubbed his hand down the side of his face. "If I tell you will you still see me the same?" He looked at her defeated.

"Rafael nothing you tell me will change anything okay? Just tell me whats going on." Rubbing her hand up and down his arm.

Looking down at her "Okay I will, but promise me you wont look at me any differently okay?"

Holding up her right hand with her pinky standing up. "Do we always break our promises?"

He smirks. "No we never do." Reaching up his pinky in the air grabbing a hold of hers.

She smiles. "Okay now tell."

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Review! Sorry if there is any mistakes tried to finish this up as quick as i can.


	6. Chapter 6

WOAH! Another post already? I'm just as excited as you guys. Enjoy!

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"Alright well I don't think it's a big thing anymore now... I hadn't thought about it in so long, until a couple weeks ago." He sighed nervously.

"Go on Raf."

"Okay, well when I was younger I hung around with the wrong crowd just so I could fit in but uh-one time my friends wanted to go to this party. So we went. It was fine; I was keeping to myself but some of my friends told me I should try some drugs and I did." Looking down embarrassed.

"I got hooked bad over the next couple weeks' hell maybe months, I was dealing drugs gaining so much money. I was hooked Liv, but I didn't see what I was doing to myself or my family putting them in danger because of what I was doing." Tears sprung to his eyes as he began to think about the past.

Watching him Olivia's heart began to break seeing Rafael starting to break down. "If you want to stop talking about it Raf its okay, you can I don't want to push you."

Sniffing finally after several moments, he shakes his head. "No I need to finish telling you."

"Okay." She whispers softly.

"Anyways we had another party this time it was mostly for business so we all started negotiating money and drugs. Well I had taken a hit of some drugs we were selling then all of a sudden all hell broke lose, my side starting shooting the buyers, we were shooting back but I was so high on drugs I didn't know what was going on. Until this guy in our group named Emanuel tossed me a gun; but I just looked at it." He looked at her before he began again.

"I've seen guns all the time but never held one or even shot one. At that moment I just wanted to leave but I can't people shooting and trying not to die; I just stayed were I was. Emanuel started yelling at me to shoot, but I didn't even know at who or where so I had just pointed up and started shooting. By then either some were dead or they were able to escape the gun fire out to the exits." He took a deep breath before letting it out again.

"Next thing I know is that I was shot and I saw FBI moving everywhere and one of them punching me a few times before pulling me out of there."

"Why did they hurt you if you were shot Raf?" She looked at him puzzled.

"I shot two FBI agents. I didn't even know I hit anyone. After they released me from the hospital, I was taken in for questioning. I didn't want to go to prison I was so scared a nineteen year old possibly spending their life in prison for shooting the fed's."

"But I guess you got off because your here now." She looked at him.

Nodding he continued. "Yes, they cut me a deal and I took it without thinking it over."

"What was the deal?"

"They weren't going to charge me with anything unless I handed over everything I knew and people I knew, without thinking I started talking. Within a week or so I was an informant for the fed's over the next six months I gave information to them while they helped me get clean. Until 'my friends' found out and almost killed me but before they could do anything FBI arrested everyone or took them out and I was safe and free."

"Raf I'm so sorry, you went through that." She began to rub his back in soothing circles.

"Don't be Liv, I have moved one but uh I think my past may be haunting me now." He rubbed his face with both of his hands.

"I can ask around to the people I know that are with FBI and see if there is anything going on."

Shaking his head quickly. "No, I don't want to do this all over again."

"Raf they could help. Maybe they can tell us who came up to me." She replied.

"Just let me think on it okay?"

"Okay...Raf?" She asked.

"Hmm?"

"Did you kill the agents?" She looked at him expecting the worse.

Sighing. "I-I don't know" He hung his head low. "They never told me if I killed them. I pray that I didn't, I wouldn't be able to live knowing if I killed them." Tears started to run down his face.

"Oh Rafi." Reaching out with her other hand, she pulled Barba into her and hugged him tightly. Scared to loosen her hold of him afraid he might disappear if she did.

Wrapping his arms around her Rafael began to cry holding in the 20 plus years of pain.

"It's okay Rafael, we will figure this out and find out okay? I know you might not want to know but it would be better if we did." She whispered.

Nodding into her shoulder. "Your right Liv."

Pulling away softly from her, looking directly into her eyes. He sniffs. "I guess this changes things between us huh?" His voice hoarse from crying.

Shocked by his comment. "Have I kicked you out yet? No. Have I run for the hills? No. I told you I trust you and I am standing by it. You had a dark past but that does not deify who you are today. A strong successful lawyer, who cares for people and a baby boy that's down the hall. I don't see you any different even after you told me all of this." She wiped his tear stained face with the pad of her thumbs.

He smiled at her softly. "Thank you Liv, I don't deserve this. You. Noah. I shouldn't even be here but I am and I am very grateful for this, but I don't want to put you in danger whats so ever. I cant do it to you and Noah. If there's any danger to begin with."

"Raf stop being hard on yourself. I am not going anywhere you are my best friend and Noah needs his cuddle buddy when he doesn't feel good. You aren't a bad man, you need to understand that."

"I know. Your're right." A few stray tears continued down his face. Liv's hands were still cupping the sides of his face.

She looked at him. Really looked at him seeing the small scar right below his left eye moving down to his lips then back up to his beautiful eyes, before she made a move that could change everything between them. Leaning forward she pressed her lips softly against his.

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Hate me? Sorry just wanted to get his secret out.

Sorry for any mistakes!

Review!


	7. Chapter 7

_She looked at him. Really looked at him seeing the small scar right below his left eye moving down to his lips then back up to his beautiful eyes, before she made a move that could change everything between them. Leaning forward she pressed her lips softly against his._

'Holy shit she's kissing me!' Rafael thought to himself. Before he could even kiss her back with as much passion the kiss was over, but his lips wanted more.

"Raf I'm sorry..I.. I shouldn't hav-" She was stopped by Rafael once he grabbed her by the back of the neck bringing her lips to his. Wrapping his free arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Olivia reacting back wrapping her arms around his body. Both fighting for dominance with their kissing and touching until they both needed air.

Rafael finally needing a breath and a moment to calm down, released his hold of her. Just looking at her cheeks being red and her chest have a small tint from becoming excited.

"Sorry." He finally spoke.

Heaving out of breath and the excitement from her body. She looked at him in question "Why? For what?" She watched his eyes change back to a lighter green.

"Just for shutting you up that way."

She smirked. "Well if that's your way of shutting me up, then I'll take that any day." She smiled at him.

He pulled her close to his body, she rested her head on his shoulder wrapping her arm around his torso. "You'll regret that when we are at work and you start to annoy me." He chuckled looking down at her.

Smacking him slightly on his chest. "You better not do that in front of everyone."

She laughed.

"Okay fine. Just in private."

"Good." She smiled at him. "Well do you want to finish the movie or bed?"

Rafael's eyes widening at her question.

"No! Not like that! I meant like uh-like if you wanted to go home of crash here on the couch." She began to panic and her face turning red.

Laughing leaning down giving her a kiss on her head. "I get what your saying Liv calm down. We can keep watching the movie till it ends, then call it a night."

"Okay that works." Turning back to them movie.

Soon after Liv began to the effects of the night, her eyes closing. Her head falling forward sitting up quickly. looking over at Rafael who staring back at her smiling.

"Let's get you to sleep Liv." He commented.

"Yeah you're right but I need to go check on Noah first." Standing up from Raf's hold of her from the couch; stretching her arms over her head. She started moving towards Noah's nursery room.

Returning a few minutes later, walking back to him standing besides the couch.

"Are you going to crash here or go home?" She looked down at him.

"I'm probably just ganna head home. I don't have any extra clothes and we both have to be at my office tomorrow for the conference." Standing up and turning towards her.

"You sure? You can just head out earlier in the morning." She said with eagerness.

"I'm sure Liv, after tonight all this emotion with whats going on and us. It's good to give the rest of the night to our self's to think." He said as Rafael reached out rubbing her arms before pulling her closer and into a hug.

Wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder. "Okay I guess you're right but you do know finding out what I found out tonight, doesn't change anything. I still like you for you. I still have the same feelings for you okay?" Looking up at him as he looked down at her smiling.

"I know Liv. You aren't that type of person to do such things." Leaning down giving her a slow kiss nipping at her bottom lip.

Olivia falling into his soft lips, she let him take the lead in this one. Letting her emotions out in this kiss, rubbing her hands up and down his back; feeling his back muscles in the processes.

Pulling away from the kiss but their lips still touching whispering in a husky voice. "Alright now I really need to go before I take you right here."

Feeling a flash of heat sweep through her body down to her pants. "Maybe I might be okay with that." Whispering back in a sultry tone.

Groaning and shifting around a little, leaning down for another kiss before pulling back. "God Liv, I can't do that."

"Why?"

"I still haven't taken you on a first date. which you still haven't answered if it was a yes or no." He said looking into her dark brown eyes.

Chuckling. "Okay then yes i'll go on a date with you." Rubbing her arms up his back.

"That's good because this would have gotten really awkward if you said no." Flashing a smile that made Olivia melt.

"Haha, that it would be. Okay go home Rafi, i'll see you tomorrow." She smiled. Releasing her hold of him.

Both walking to the door, grabbing his coat and tie. Liv opening the door for him; watching him step outside and turning to face her again.

Watching her lean against the door frame. "See you tomorrow Liv.'

"Yeah, also I will start asking around about what happened to those agents and see who that guy was tonight." She replied.

"Mmm er-yeah okay Liv." Shifting around in the hallway, feeling eerie about talking about it again.

"It's going to be okay Raf."

"I know Liv." Leaning down to her face giving her a quick kiss. "night."

"Night." She gave him a warm smile. He then turned and walked down the hallway to the elevators. Closing the door and locking it up, and walking around cleaning up the small the trio did tonight.

Grabbing her phone and turning off the lights in the living room and kitchen then walking to her room and leaving the door open to hear for Noah.

Open her phone to her messages she clicked on a name knowing this person would still be awake.

 **"Are you awake bitch?"**

 _"Duh! What's up?"_ Replied her long time friend Casey.

 **"Well you are not going to believe what just happened!㈸1"**

 _"What!?"_ Casey sitting up in her bed as she replied.

 **"Rafael and I kissed!"**

 _"Who?"_

 **"Seriously? Rafael Barba!"**

 _"oooooooo Barba lol my bad. I forget sometimes, we always call him by his last name. ㈳4Anywaysss ... How? who kissed who first!? Details women!"_

Olivia laughing at Casey's response. **"I kissed him first."**

 _"No way! ㈸1you never do that!"_

laughing at her friends antics, she received another text.

 _"Okay I would love to keep talking but Kylie just started crying but tomorrow we meet up for lunch or something I need more details! Night Livie! ㈵6"_

 **"Okay lol night Take care of my god-daughter! night."**

R&R!


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